BASIC RULES FOR A HAPPY AND HEALTHY MARRIAGE


Couple praying
When you first marry, everything in your marriage from your honeymoon to your new home is bliss. But what happens when you are faced with hardships? Do you immediately give up on the marriage and seek a divorce without attempting a resolution, or do you put forward the love you have for one another as a guide to a triumphant outcome? I believe love is the answer to whatever the circumstance. If you can overcome any hardship together as a team, your marriage will become stronger and solid as time goes by.

It is no secret that relationships take work to build. It is also no secret that most people want or yearn to have -- and maintain -- a happy, healthy marriage. Despite the bumps in a marriage, you are entitled to be happy and remain happy as per the core values of marriage.

If you consider the following rules, you will realize maintaining a happy marriage is not as hard as you may anticipate.

Never both be angry at the same time. One another contributes to a strong marriage. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit and ask for forgiveness from one another.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Let me tell you what happens when you argue over stupid shit in life. Eventually “real shit” happens and by this point, you’re just tired of arguing, period. My rule is “is this going to matter one year from now”? If not, let it go. If so, have at it! Life is too hard to battle over stupid, pointless things that will not matter years from now.

If one of you should win an argument, let it be your mate. Conflicts are best dealt with when you have calmed down and are well rested.

If you should criticize, do it lovingly. If love exists, all things are possible. Whenever a difficult situation surfaces, do not falter. Simply hold on to the love that united the two of you in the first place, and work together to overcome tough issues you face.

Never bring up mistakes of the past because, at the end of the day, you want to fight the issue and not your partner.

Neglect the whole world rather than each other. You may not see eye to eye on every subject matter, but listening to what your spouse should say will help you understand rather than believing everything people outside your marriage circle are saying.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. Never go to bed angry. If you don't hash through every conflict right away, it'll lead to resentment and ultimately blowups. Ideally, of course, we would all be able to truly forgive every slight and makeup before bedtime. But guess what? No one is that perfect. And most spouses don't solve problems well when they're mad.

Be ready to listen to one another and make compromises. At least once every day try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your life's partner. A marriage should not be one-sided. Marriage is about both parties participating in all decision making, sharing responsibilities and meeting in the middle when one party does not completely agree with the other. I can’t begin to explain how many times my husband and I have compromised, but we do it because it is what partners.

It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking. I firmly believe communication keeps any relationship healthy and blissful. If something is bothering you about your spouse, work, kids or family, let him know. Do not be intimidated to speak your mind or to speak the truth. Your spouse is your friend.
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