The disease makes it harder to be healthy; it DOES NOT make it impossible
I've got a friend who also has BPD, and she always uses her diagnosis to justify bad behavior. I totally understand the very fine line between what we do versus do not have control over, but come on!
She is convinced that just because BPD is a chronic illness, she has no chance of having healthier relationships. Because she feels there's no chance, she doesn't even try. We have GOT to keep trying, folks!
For example, her stance is: "I'm going to lie to you, it's inevitable." Okay, that's fine. But there are multiple points along the way where you can choose to change your behavior.
- You can choose not to lie to me.
- If you lie to me, you can choose to tell me the truth.
- If you tell me the truth and it hurts me, you can choose to apologize.
- If you apologize and I don't accept it, you can choose to respect my boundaries.