Common Causes of High Divorce Rates and Break-ups

Newly wed kissing

This particular statement got me worried: “Americans have the highest divorce rate of over 50% in the world.

This is the bitter truth: love-relationships and marriages hardly work these days! The divorce rate is gradually and steadily increasing. Break-ups and separation are as common as the number of relationships we have!

Many singles avoid (and delay) relationships (and marriages) these days because they want to avoid the headaches and heartaches associated with it. Many young couples are just cohabiting; they have slowly grown apart to become strangers living in the same house! All they have is a “house”, and not a “home”!

But, when they come to the public, they cover up – to protect their pride and avoid shame. Many couples pretend, a lot. They post happy photos on social media even though that is far from what they are experiencing in their marriages. Many have privately confided in me – and it is very pathetic how sad they are!

They just stick together, not because they want to but probably because they are concerned about what people will say, for the sake of their children, nowhere to fall back to, religious commitments, and so on.

However, there is no joy and no peace. There is a lot of arguing, fighting, poor communication, and lack of intimacy. Short-wave, one-word communication has replaced the sweet, hot romantic love they once had. The sweet, clean lady has become a tigress! The cute, cool guy has become a wife-beater!

What Are the Causes of High Divorce Rates & Break-ups?

There are numerous causes – too numerous to mention!

1. Cheating, infidelity, extra-marital affairs – this attacks the very core of the relationship, which is trust, and many marriages do not recover from this.

2. Financial issues and disagreements over money issues – some people have divorced due to non-disclosure of businesses and financial transactions. For example, some people get married with financial baggage such as debts, loans, and so on, that were not revealed to the partner.

3. Selfishness, poor character, addictions, destructive habits and abuse (sexual, physical, verbal, emotional). Gross level of irresponsibility. Some homes have been broken because one or both parties were found to be addicted to various behaviors, such as alcoholism, gambling, and so on, and refused to seek help.

4. Lack of self-development and growth. This often affects effective communication, so they begin to grow apart after a while.

5. Getting into marriage for the wrong reasons. This leads to high level of dependency by one of the partners, thereby, wearing out the other.

6. Lack or Loss of intimacy, interest, appreciation, and commitment. Taking the marriage and your spouse for granted; not deliberately nurturing intimacy, staying in touch, spicing up the romance. In fact, practically taking each other for granted.

7. The pressure – external and internal – that comes from waiting for children can lead to many other issues that will open a door for divorce, especially when not properly managed. (This is common among Africans)

8. Marrying the wrong person – with incompatibility issues and marked differences in values, lifestyles, goals, and passions.

9. Power struggle, lack of quality time – and living over-independent lives.

10. And many more

The Way Forward

As a couple, keep the communication going. Keep the feelings flowing. Don’t just talk to one another…no! Communicate. Reveal your fears, desires, and hurts. Try to understand what the other person is saying.
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