Guide to creating a good balance between your career and marriage

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Falling into this debate and determined to avoid choosing between a great marriage and a great career, I think I’ve found a simple answer to the age-old question: Does a successful career ruin a woman’s marriage? The answer is No, but choosing the wrong partner will. One of the most important choices a woman will make in her lifetime is deciding whom to marry. Whether or not you are happily married can affect the entire course of your life. It will measure the flow of your days, be the determinant of your children’s wellbeing, and even color your view of the world.

It turns out that some men think a successful career woman makes a lousy wife and mother, but the truth is, marriage requires a solid partnership where both parties assume full responsibility for their part of the agreement.

Having said that, I always wonder why choosing between a successful career and marriage is never a choice that men have to make. Is it because they don’t give half as much as women or less is expected of them? I believe that this is a topic for another day. So back to the main topic, I firmly believe that a woman can have the best of both worlds; that is, a successful career and marriage.
The key to finding balance in your relationship, marriage, and career is to make your relationship/ marriage the top priority. After all, people are more important than things and when your career is long over or when you retire from active work, all you will have left is your family and the relationships you have managed to nurture over the years. It has often been said that if you make your relationship the top priority, you will find that the success in that area will spread over to other areas of life like your career.

Here are a few tips to achieve balance in both worlds:


Create and spend as much time as possible with your spouse every week: 


Make sure this time is spent doing activities you both enjoy and find meaningful. Allow no interruption from anything work related such as emails or phone calls. Let this time be spent with your spouse alone.


Use your support system: 


Don’t shy away from getting help when you need it. Ask your mum to help with grocery shopping if need be. Outsource the jobs or tasks that can be handled by other people such as dry cleaning, weekly house cleaning, nannies etc. The essence of this is to ensure that you have enough free time to spend with your partner and work on your relationship.

Frequent, deep and urgent communication: 


The essence of communication in a marriage cannot be overemphasized. Make sure your partner is a top priority in your life. Take an interest in your partner’s life and feelings. Ask them how their day was or how they feel. Share your thoughts and feelings with them as well. Make sure they never feel abandoned and always talk to each other as much as possible.

Keep work at work: 


It seems that work has become so demanding that it prevents people from getting home early to spend time with their family or from having time during the day to call their other significant. It is really important to maintain a good work-life balance and to make sure that you don’t bring the stress of work home and allow it to sabotage the potentially positive time you should be spending at home with your spouse.

Ask your husband to be a partner in your career as much as you are in his: 


When your spouse asks you to attend work functions (parties, award ceremonies, speeches, or retreats), you must make out time to attend. Not only must you attend, but you also must be dressed appropriately. Wear a smile no matter how boring the event, and make polite small talk with your spouse’s colleagues. Your job is to make a good impression because you are, after all, a reflection of your spouse. That way your partner feels involved in the ‘’other ‘’ part of your life.

If perhaps you get into your career early, before marriage came along and you are now the boss, you can transfer those skills that make you successful as a leader in your career into your marriage. Skills like time management, emotional intelligence, ability to delegate effectively, and commitment are some examples of good transferable skills.

Finally, there really isn’t any foolproof formula for success in marriage. The best you can do as a career woman is to look for ways that specifically relate to you and your partner in creating a good balance between your career and marriage.
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