How to make 'quality time with your spouse' a reality

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Your time away from your children helps maintain or rekindle that flame that first appeared when you two fell in love. So spend time together just talking and laughing. Look back at what you’ve been through, and think of things you can look forward to.

So how do you do this? Well, you can start with these:

1. Prioritize spending quality time with your spouse alone

You can use the quality time to have dinner dates, a few drinks, work out (and maybe ogle each other while you're at it!), take long drives, or go to a place without any artificial lights to watch the stars. It doesn’t matter as long as you’re alone together. Just make sure you get a babysitter.

2. Plan it

Apart from enjoying your dates, you can enjoy planning your dates with your spouse. This gives both of you something to look forward to. It also gives you something to be creative for, and shows the other your effort to make your relationship interesting. It isn’t about what you have or don't have, but your resourcefulness.

3. Choose activities that let you two have conversations

Movies are great but only if the movie spurs conversation and lets you talk for hours (or days) about that mad plot twist at the end. Go to places that aren’t too noisy, letting you talk in peace.

4. Acknowledge the value of foreplay

A date starts way before its appointed hour. It can start upon waking, with a long kiss, a gentle caress, or a whisper. It may continue for a while with a suggestive text or two or stealing time just to make a call. Let the desire build up.

5. Kiss

This one sits at the crux of your relationship. Apart from the physiological, mental, emotional, and perhaps even spiritual benefits of sexual intercourse, words fail just how important this is to both of you. It doesn’t have to be perfect 100% of the time. You just have to drop all of your inhibitions towards each other (and maybe each other’s clothes for a start) and want and accept each other.

6. Enjoy the little things

Spending time together doesn’t have to be about taking a chartered plane to Spain. You can both dance to a song you like that comes on the supermarket’s PA system. Did you see something suggestive and naughty on the drive home? The joke about it! It can be a quick make-out session in the bathroom. Small opportunities for connecting with each other build up into a stronger bond.

7. Get a babysitter

This is simple. And practical. Make sure you pay your sitter well!

8. Be creative

Give each other a pleasant surprise. Getting into a predictable routine pushes us into autopilot mode. Surprises make sure we’re engaged and human.

9. Never go to bed angry

If you have problems or little fights, make sure you solve them and talk it out before you go to sleep. You wouldn’t want the extra baggage to linger for longer than necessary.