A GUIDE TO RAISING BOYS AS A SINGLE MOM


Woman dressing kid for school

Whether you are a single mom by choice or circumstance the truth about life is that it is no easy fete to raise a son alone. Really it’s a challenge how are you going to teach this young man to be a real man when you have never been a man yourself! It's no easy challenge but you know what they say …” God will never give you more than you can manage”

One article on raising boys is not going to solve this humongous challenge but we hope you’ll find a few tips below to make the journey to raise your little boy to a man a rewarding one:

Recognize and support his strengths 

You can support your boy by recognizing his particular strengths, talents, and gifts. Talk to him about these and give him opportunities to excel and develop them. Doing this will help to remove a feeling of being incomplete, being alone and a lack of strong identity from him.

Guide him to choose his peer group 

Its rightly said that bad company corrupts good manners. Don’t let your boys seek out for himself the company of a bad group that provides him with a sense of belonging which can lead him astray. As his mother, rather help him to become part of a church, sports team, club, or other healthy “group” rather than leaving it up to him to find his own peer group.

Train him to shun anger

The absence of a father-figure can make your son become angry. So be compassionate and caring to your boy. Train him to reject the bad traits of bullying, anger, and self-hatred in order for him to become a responsible loving man.

Right teachings on love, trust and sex 

Boys without fathers often have a lot of unanswered questions about love, trust, and sex. They don’t talk about sex and get the practical advice from a dad that would carry them into healthy, fulfilling relationships with men. Sometimes boys also have a deep-seated hurt that leads them to view love as a vulnerability. As a result, they may have a difficult time trusting someone with their heart. So talk to your boy about the difference between sex and love. Remind him that he was conceived in love. Ask a male relative or other important males in his life to talk to him about sex and about the emotional aspects of dating, loving and the consequences of having sex at the wrong stage of life.

Give your sons responsibilities 

Develop your son so he doesn’t grow up to become a lazy man. Ensure to give him certain chores at home that are non-negotiable which will make him appreciate and inculcate hard work. Don’t do all the house chores for him because it will rather make him become lazy and spoilt. Train him to become responsible.

Shape his character 

Without a father-figure to shape a boy’s character to reflect adult male behaviors of respect, self-discipline, politeness, confidence, he could be left to choose the wrong character traits from musicians and celebrities. Therefore, monitor who he is emulating. Remember you are the strong and central part of his life, so always surround yourself with the kind of men you would like him to become.

Surround him with Real Men 

No one can take the place of a father in a child’s life but if you are a single mom raising a son. Try and foster a relationship with a responsible man or men you trust your son. Let him understand they are no replacing the father figure he may lack but let them serve as a big brother or uncle to your time giving him one on one time when and where possible.

NOTE: Single moms kindly watch your dating life around your sons. Understand that your dating life has a strong impact on how your son will view women and the role of a man in a woman’s life as he grows up. Try and maintain only healthy relationships with your children
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