A guide to women who experience ‘deep pain’ during the act of thrusting


the act of intercourse

The act of thrusting, which is the back-and-forth movement of the penis inside the vagina during intercourse, will typically tap on the cervix (the opening to the uterus). This is a normal part of the act and most women do not even feel it.

WHAT’S SO GOOD ABOUT PENETRATING DEEP?


There are two sensitive zones deep within the vagina that you or your partner may be able to stimulate if you’re not afraid of a little spelunking.
  • One is the A-spot, which is located along the front wall of the vagina near the cervix. Some women report being able to orgasm from A-spot stimulation.
  • The second spot is located in a similar position along the back wall of the vaginal canal, near the anal wall. 
The A-spot is especially known for not becoming hyper-sensitive after an orgasm, which means that you might be able to keep enjoying penetrative sex or playtime without the flinching and discomfort that can happen when you try to stimulate your G-spot or clitoris immediately after cumming or squirting!

WHY DO I SOMETIMES LIKE DEEP THRUSTING AND HATE IT OTHER TIMES?


As a woman, you may find that you sometimes like deep penetration and dislike it at other times. This may be due to the position of your cervix, which changes through a normal menstrual cycle. For example, your cervix might be lower and more open during your period and slightly after. The cervix is also harder during these times, which may make it more susceptible to pain from deep penetration.

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On the other hand, cervixes tend to raise and soften prior to ovulation and remain in that position during ovulation. This can make deep penetration more comfortable. Sometimes, a cervix can become so soft and high during ovulation that it “blends” in with the rest of your vagina, which might be the perfect time to try deep penetration.

Regardless of your cervical position and hardness, you might not enjoy the feeling of a cock – or dildo – slamming into you if it’s done too roughly. Just because your partner wants to go deep, doesn’t mean he has to do it with force. In fact, deeper thrusts might feel better with less force, so encourage your partner to slow down, which also gives the two of you time to enjoy it more. Plus, you can easily adjust your own pace when masturbating.

If your partner is especially well endowed, it might seem that you can’t avoid deep penetration, and sex may even be painful. Painful sex is known as dyspareunia and is more common in women than men. However, you can take a few steps to help prevent pain during sex.
  • Encourage plenty of foreplay so your body is more receptive to penetration.
  • Use lubricant to ease insertion and thrusting.
  • Use a cock ring or wrap your fingers around your partner’s penis to prevent deep thrusting.
  • Have sex in positions such as spooning or woman-on-top where deep thrusts are less likely or when you can control the speed and depth of his penis in your vagina.
However, cervical stimulation can be crucial for orgasm in some women.

HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF DEEP PENETRATION


But if you’re a fan of deep thrusting, you’ll want to have sex in all the fun positions that do enable you to feel your partner more deeply. These can include missionary, depending upon how your bodies match up, and doggy style. Similarly, because you can control depth and speed during cowgirl, this might be your go-to position so you can feel every inch of your partner inside of you!

ADD PILLOWS


Pillows are a great way to achieve deep penetration for regular positions like missionary. If you place one under your hips (butt or abs, depending on position), it raises them to make deep penetration easier. While a regular pillow can work in a pinch, pillows made of memory foam are even better because they don’t compress. Several companies, including Liberator, make pillows of this material specifically for sex.

You can also try leaning over or against other furniture in your home if the best doesn’t help with deep penetration. You might have an ottoman that’s exactly the right height for Doggy or Turtle position, for example.

FINAL WORD: IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT LENGTH AND DEPTH

More often than not, that old adage about penis size is true. Size matters less to many women when it comes to length, but girth is usually important. That’s why a thicker penis might feel better even if it’s not reaching up to your cervix during sex. If that’s your preference, feel free to explain this to your partner, adjust your masturbation skills as needed and have a good time!

Deep penetration may also miss some of the most erogenous spots in your vagina, including the G-spot. The G-spot is generally just a few inches inside your vaginal opening, which is why you don’t necessarily need a partner with a long penis or a super long toy to reach it. A curved or contoured head can be more important for G-spot stimulation than simply a long toy or cock, which might miss it altogether.

Finally, the technique really does matter. You might prefer deep penetration if it’s done at a slower pace rather than a jackhammer-like pounding. Or you might enjoy the stimulation of your A-spot with fingers in a “come hither” motion. Perhaps you simply like feeling a toy or penis press against those sensitive spots? Grazing of your cervix might be okay, or you might not like it at all.

Like any sexual activity, deep penetration is something you should try at least a couple times to determine if and how you like it. But whether you love it, hate it or fall somewhere in between, you’re sure to find plenty of women who agree with you!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS


FAQ #1 – Why does deep penetration hurt?


Your vagina ends at your cervix, the neck between your vagina and uterus. The opening in your cervix is quite a tiny hole, so his penis won’t be able to penetrate it. Deep penetration can cause a penis or toy to hit your cervix. During certain parts of your cycle, your cervix is harder and lower, making it easier to hit during sex. This can result in more pain than usual or even pain when deep penetration doesn’t typically hurt.

Penetration may hurt less about two weeks before your next period if you have a 28-day period because this is your ovulation period. This is because your cervix is the softest during ovulation.

Some women experience more painful cervical stimulation because of the angle of their uterus. Deep penetration may also hurt more for older women.

If your cervix is always sensitive, you might want to avoid deep penetration. However, if it only hurts when you use something that’s rigid, a softer material might be preferable.

FAQ #2 – How can I experience deep penetration if my partner has a smaller penis?


It’s hard to experience deep penetration if your partner is not well-endowed, especially if he has a micro-penis. But if the two of you are willing to enlist some tools, you can get the job done. First, you can consider a penis sleeve, which slides over his penis and is worn during sex, to make him feel longer or wider. If that doesn’t work, you can try insertable sex toys such as dildos or vibrators that are long enough to get the deep penetration you like.
On any matter relating to your health or well-being, please check with an appropriate health professional.
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