For a healthy relationship, fall in love with yourself first

African girl

You don't get dates because you hate yourself, not because you're short and nerdy.

Stop treating yourself like shit. Stop saying mean things to yourself. Stop assuming you're unlikeable. Stop saying people don't like you when you really just don't like yourself.

You are so bitter toward people because you think they're too shallow to try to like you. It actually pisses me off, like makes me viscerally angry, because people like you a lot until they see how bitter you are about some shit you made up in your head.

Sometimes I feel sad for you but most of the time I want to shake you because you just won't fucking believe me when I say that you're interesting, clever, handsome, hilarious. Why the fuck would I lie about this shit? What fucking purpose does it serve ME to go out of my way to say nice things to you? The irony is that you hate yourself so much that you don't believe the people you actually trust when what they've got to say is something nice about you.

And THAT'S why you don't get dates. People can't always sniff out insecurity, but nobody has to do any investigating to see the way you embody your self-loathing.

Why can't you be nicer to yourself? WHY?! You don't deserve your conscience to talk shit about you so much. Why do you behave like you're not allowed to be happy with yourself? Why don't you celebrate your talents? Why do you assume people are just listening to you because they're polite, and not for the actual reason, which is that you're really interesting and entertaining!!!!

Quit prioritizing romance. How are you going to love another person when you hate yourself so much? Prioritize yourself. Fall in love with yourself. It's going to be a shitty feedback loop for you until you do.
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