For a healthy relationship, fall in love with yourself first. See how!

For a healthy relationship, fall in love with yourself first

Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you. For a healthy relationship, fall in love with yourself first.

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.” – Kristen Chenowith

Why is it so difficult to love ourselves? Basically, the short answer to this question is that we were raised in a society that didn’t teach us about self-love. This may not seem very important to some, but self-love is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Loving yourself provides you with self-confidence, self-worth, and in general, you feel more positive. If you can learn to love yourself, you will feel happier and will learn to take better care of yourself.

Looking in the mirror, most of us see a lot of different flaws and remember too many past experiences and failings to love ourselves. The less you love yourself, listen to yourself, and understand yourself, the more confused, upset, and frustrated you will be in life. When you begin to love yourself and continue to love yourself more and more each day, things slowly will be a little bit better in every way possible.

Unfortunately, self-love isn’t always easy.

Accepting the pain and allowing yourself to be honest with who you are is a big step to loving yourself. Forgive yourself for past actions and things you are ashamed of doing.

Carrying a lot of negative emotions like jealousy, disgust, and rage can have a negative impact. We need to learn how to accept not only the emotions that create love, joy, and happiness but also the ones that cause fear, insecurity, and anger in our lives.

While we need to learn how to acknowledge and accept the pain with love, another step is reconciling with a cold and unopened heart. Asking yourself if you fully love yourself can be very difficult because you must accept your flaws and faults.

Love is something we choose, the same way we choose anger, hate, or sadness. We have the power to forgive someone who has hurt us in the past. We can learn to finally heal from something when we can forgive. We can always choose love.

Learning to love yourself leads to better self-care. Examples of this could be taking a break from time to time and accepting that no one is perfect and things happen.

Another example could be saying no to others when you really don’t have the time or energy to say yes. We often do too much for other people because we want to please everyone. We can forget to look after ourselves and then we become overwhelmed.

Today is the day you can love yourself completely with no expectations. Making the choice right now to choose your own love is the most powerful healing force you have.

So, How Exactly Do You Love Yourself More?

In it’s simplest form, loving yourself comes down to your ACTIONS.

How to get started

This is easier said than done though as many of us struggle to love and accept ourselves even for a few moments, let alone all the time.

So here are some tips to help get you started:

Think about your strengths

It may not always be easy, but try to concentrate on the things you do well rather than the things you don’t excel in or the mistakes you’ve made. In fact, try to consciously forgive yourself for your mistakes, especially if you find yourself thinking frequently about the poor choices you may have made.

When you’re feeling positive, make a list of your strengths and keep it somewhere you’ll see it often and then go back to the list whenever you feel insecure about yourself.

Look after yourself

Sometimes we work so hard at looking after others, we neglect our own wellbeing needs. But it’s important to eat healthily, to exercise and get plenty of sleep, and to take steps to look after our mental health.

Start by doing one small thing a day that will help boost your mental or physical wellbeing – you don’t have to make radical changes all at once to reap big benefits.

For more tips, recipes, and resources to help you promote your physical wellbeing, visit our physical wellbeing microsite.

Stop comparing

Try removing yourself from toxic friendships or from someone who demeans you and your achievements. Instead, surround yourself with positive and supportive people. These are the people who will help you feel good about yourself, as opposed to those who are over-critical and negative.
Treat yourself like someone you love

If you tend to be hard on yourself a lot of the time, try giving yourself a break and being kind rather than your harshest critic. Remind yourself that nobody is perfect, so you shouldn’t expect to be either. Think about what you would do or say if a close friend needed some support, then try doing the same for yourself.

Have a social media detox

According to, the average person spends more than five years of their life on social media. Yet studies suggest using social media to such an extent can often cause stress, anxiety, and low mood. This can be further highlighted when we use social media to compare ourselves to others. This can then lead to a feeling that we’re missing out.

If you spend a lot of time on social media, it may be a good idea to do something about it. Try taking a complete break, or at least switch off your notifications to see if it helps you cut down on your social media use.

Be selfish once in a while

When you’re busy doing things for other people, you may forget to do things for yourself. But it’s okay to be selfish every now and then. Try doing just one little thing for yourself today that doesn’t involve making anyone else happy or tending to their needs.

Let go of your anger

There is no room for anger when it comes to perfecting how to love yourself. Anger consumes too much of your time and energy… which often gets in the way of your happiness and success. If you’re angry at someone… or maybe even yourself… simply let it go.

It may be easier said than done in some cases, but I promise you that doing so will open up a channel of positivity that can improve your overall mood and well being.

Final Thoughts on Learning How to Love Yourself

Love has many splendored things.

Love is powerful.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love is within everyone’s reach.

We all deserve love… and to be loved.

But learning how to love yourself is where it all begins.

Treating yourself the same way you’d want to be treated starts from within.

And once you release it, it’s contagious.

Trust me.

Learning how to love yourself will improve all facets of your life.

It will open doors to opportunities you never knew existed.

It will bring new people into your life.

It will bring unexpected surprises.

It will bring hope.

It will bring change.



I don't’ know about you, but I believe in second chances.

I believe in happy endings.

And I believe you deserve one.

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